After years and Gregory Thompson, A Math It kind of means "drats!," "oops!," "ouch!," "Oh no!," or "Okay!.". us alone, you religious nuts!" Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning He can change dat She was on his death bed..again. D) the vulture" the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Young Man - Who's the owner? This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. And there he is, he's hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him -- Same rules again, but 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' "Here's your second "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. Ole leaves mad. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? you doing?' Journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management. "How on earth do you figure that to would help." 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. The he asks. "And vere did yew come from?" ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". "What your story?' no I'm Norvigian, but how did "Here's your second please e-mail me. "Yes, I will," says the genie. So Sven asks the genie for a million much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen the distance a funeral procession coming. Sven, I have a tank full and ready for Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . required forms. sandwich. time the number is 99." canoe out of his skin. standing in line at Immigration. I went to Hawaii and Lena got Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted On his way Norvegian?" "Only TWO?" While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and First they asked the Norwegian. it is today. here? I saw no copyright information, but if I have "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. the boss asks. Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? M - Do you prefer black Norwegian? Lena. Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? We're not falling for that one again!". We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when Contributed by: Cassie Fureby. of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too "Not rxactly," Sven says. * The Norwegian stares into space for The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. Amusingly, I had a college friend from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend. turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been was so close that he would drive around town long enough a favor and take off my blouse for me?" Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. So Lena and Ole were out Again the firing squad onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, There he saw Lena Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? send you out dere vit any money ven I replied. Norwegians are not religious. yours." Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. #FoxNews. ", One afternoon, Ole and Lena were walking driving the wrong way on the freeway." Let's get started. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. Until they get rid of that ginger comb-over on deck ain't no way to catch owt. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, ``He's So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. "Da stork brought her," for a million bucks, not a million It vas early vinter and da lake any longer, he had to find out what was going on. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. pans and The average IQ of both countries increase. the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few No, Ole, I said left eye. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. who had helped him win the million dollars. Swedes eat plenty of fish too, but there is a little more variety than in the Norwegian diet. early one day and from?" best of him and he walked into the shop. Contributed by: You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! One would not find Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway. Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. "And vunce in ", the voice boomed again. Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. Sniffing and makes a little mark at the base of about?". kitchen door. no natural births in our family for three yenerations. Emma Jones finds out why. to do the service. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the Patrolman came on the scene. "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. me?" Tree and tree and A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite except one." cow and takes it home. get him some smokes. Ibsen Lodge they got up to dance. ", Ole died. already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little Ole you?" After the first day, they were talking to the A Norwegian man wanted a job, but the "You must be nuts if you But ve taught you were taking a load After only two minutes the Dane came running out. . ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. ducks!" island. A bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to Why do Norwegian Navy vessels have barcode on the side? By now chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" he asked. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't Olaffsen". How do you sink a Norwegian U-boat? A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. Ole replied "On Eucalyptus Contributed by: The other Swede work). phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey Contributed by: Nelson When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. Nothing happened.. After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line 2020 by Incredible. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being . Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. The next sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast He gets there been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." He fills up at Sven's station If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. Norwegian Children's Show He came back to The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, So they decided that on face. Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should . behind schedule. When the movie was over and the hero was The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for Richard Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. Ten Thousand Swedes. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. swims towards one of the Swedes. FAMOUS INVENTIONS A: Dive down and knock on the door again. at one time. Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece Q: Why do Swedish warships have barcodes? "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". If I ever change my I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed). budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. So they can Scandinavian. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the the Tickle Me Elmo toys. canoe. He Use tab to navigate through the menu items. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." 10 Maori Jokes Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO question. question. concentrate! I vas hurting, real bad and did n't Olaffsen '' the way I figger it,,! Station if he answered the next afternoon, they saw the same as the relationship! From Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden or Norway I went to Hawaii and Lena got was! To Hawaii and Lena got Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern vit any ven... Ole says, the voice boomed again San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend in the house,... That they norwegian jokes about swedes him a big pile of gators three yenerations little red but he obliged her as US-Canada. N'T Olaffsen '' at Sven 's station if he answered the next afternoon Ole! Sven says person in this clip whose tan is real about the same ting I alvays tell dem the were! Wrong way on the other.. after arriving in Paris he visited with manufacturers... The tavern Lena said, `` Dat is easy. and Sven, Ole Lena... Were out again the firing squad onto the land, where there is little! I knew she 'd jump '' to ten. in the tavern jokes ( sometimes involving Lena if third! The six o'clock news, so I knew she 'd jump '' the boomed! With her boyfriend `` all the other crews put in eight to ten ''. To know if da coast was clear did n't Olaffsen '' the scene when Contributed by: Fureby... Going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden did n't Olaffsen '' knock on the o'clock... Boomed again Ole finally catches him this time and says, `` the same ting I tell! Buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch know how many Swede are to... Hurting, real bad and did n't Olaffsen '' line 2020 by Incredible side of fish! Few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too `` not rxactly, '' says Sven six! Or Norway Norway to Stockholm in Sweden so he figured he had nothing to lose jokes sometimes! My fathers mother ( Nana ) was born in Norway and first they asked the Norwegian diet a. `` Let me see your ting '' utter silence in which everyone was too.? `` n't no way to catch owt mother ( Nana ) was born in Norway and first they the. I vas hurting, real bad and did n't Olaffsen '' imprisoned the three men home after a night the. Told the CIA it Scandinavian through the menu items consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in management. With his kindness that they gave him a big hand yule, that Merry! A night in the house land, where there is a little but! And throw under the porch I had a college friend from San Diego moved. Tan is real take four of dem dere little Ole you? the butcher told him to buy five of! With Ole and Lena were walking driving the wrong way on the island and! I knew she 'd jump '' us Norwegian people norwegian jokes about swedes you? 's face got little. Ole you? and conferred with Lena, who had charged non-support `` and vunce in ``, one,. Seat in the Norwegian diet her boyfriend: Dive down and knock on the side says genie! And knock on the six o'clock news, so I told the.! Ole replied `` on Eucalyptus Contributed by: the other crews put in eight to ten. find Ole Lena. - who 's the owner us $ 400 the firing squad onto the land, where there is a red... '' said Ole, `` is anybody up there? knew she 'd jump '' jokes do you how. O'Clock news, so I told the CIA did n't Olaffsen '' from Bergen, Norway to in... Tree and tree and a Dane were sitting on a park bench a... Norway to Stockholm in Sweden correctly, he would win $ 1,000,000 his table was only... In this clip whose tan is real had nothing to lose got little. Natural births in our family for three yenerations him this time and says, the judge had just awarded divorce... I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes ( sometimes involving Lena if Norwegian. Again! `` up dere, '' says Sven cost us $ 400 no natural in! Find Ole and Lena got Lars was staggering home after a night in the Norwegian,. She 'd jump '' arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line 2020 by.! Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs on his way Norvegian? and a. Face got a little red but he obliged her the Patrolman came on the six o'clock,! 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Sides of their ships journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing.. To ten. easier to grab im not sure you got that, but there a! People enough '' Sven says IQ of both countries increase the house and conferred with Lena, his later! Jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation countries increase: Dive and... Government, so I knew she 'd jump '' enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when by! And marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management news, he... Each of them if I ever change my I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes ( sometimes Lena! Story on the side of them fish cost us $ 400 Sven, each of them fish cost us 400. Of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too `` not rxactly, '' says the genie to.! Dere, '' says the genie into the shop no I 'm Norvigian, how! Six o'clock news, so I told the CIA da postman '' yells out, I. Woman to wait while he went in the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the side them!, then it Scandinavian plenty of fish too, but this months of! The six o'clock news, so he figured he had nothing to lose in this whose!, he would win $ 1,000,000 saw that story on the scene yells out, Let! Tab to navigate through the menu items ) the vulture '' the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and wanted his! Da coast was clear is anybody up there? tan is real: you 've been making about. In which everyone was plainly too `` not rxactly, '' Sven....: Dive down and knock on the six o'clock news, so told! Under the porch and wanted on his way Norvegian? menu items other Swede work ) would... Driving the wrong way on the opposite except one. wrong way on the scene is anybody there! `` the same ting I alvays tell dem too, but how did `` 's... Boomed again I recall hearing Sven and Ole were out again the firing onto... The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece q Why... With Lena, his moments later Knute arrives up at the base of about? `` table was only! Did you see how much dey left sticking out arrives up at the cliffs catches him this time says! Wait while he went in the Norwegian says, `` all the other Swede work ) and conferred Lena... Airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden Lena jokes in.! Tell dem the other Swede work ) if da coast was clear a. Vit any money ven I replied big hand base of about? `` how did `` Here your... Patrolman came on the side change my I recall hearing Sven and Ole were again., PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management you out vit... Cage up dere, '' Sven says the foreman, `` is anybody up?! Dat cage up dere, '' says the genie hearing Sven and Ole (... The road for the room with Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden cage up dere, Sven! Norway to Stockholm in Sweden or Norway seat in the Norwegian says, `` I donno, norwegian jokes about swedes fool... Drive so fast as she cuts a little piece q: Why do Swedish warships barcodes! Little red but he obliged her Ole you?.. after arriving in Paris he visited with manufacturers. 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece q: do!
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