Nowadays, Im very precious about my sleep. Fair enough, too. Then mission accomplished! I replied. 5. Softening the lighting in my house at night with amber lights. 3. And those who see what youre like and cant handle it are free to move on. Dont let someone have too much of your focus and remember that you are entitled to some me time.. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. , read more on our site. 10 Minute Wellness Activities You Can Do Anywhere. Turn down. If they talk over you or dont give you sufficient time to engage in a conversation, theyre missing the normal social cues of conversing. Put strategies in place to transition over time to something that you find a greater connection with. You inherently know that its your greatest stepping stone to success. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. The key here is gently and lovingly closing the door on that relationship. A person can be made to feel wrong for the most part of his or her life, and internalizing this sense of shame can lead to depression, low self-esteem, inability to self-regulate, and inner emptiness.. It takes a strong will to reach the finish line when things get tough. As I say to my children, chose carefully, and be attracted to those who inspire, uplift, and enrich. Food is not just a source of nourishment and energy, it is also very much a source of pleasure. You want to spend as much time as possible with your favorite people even if youre not always talking to them. We live with our motto "Skills Up. If you find yourself in any kind of relationship with someone who is bordering on obsessive, remind them to come up for air once in a while and encourage them to try something new with you. 24. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. Modulate. And then there are intense personalities a type the grown-ups in your life may have been cautioned against becoming when you were a child. You always establish direct eye contact. The caring professions. It meant learning to love myself wholeheartedly again and pouring my energies into meaningful, soul-enriching work (point 2 above) and cultivating a healthy and sustainable relationship with food (point 3 above). Walking, rock scrambling, rock climbing, yoga, dancing and fascia release suit me perfectly. It all stems back to this: if you dont love yourself youve wont ever be happy with how you look in the mirror no matter how toned, thin or svelte you are and no matter if everyone else is telling you how freakin awesome and sexy you look. You expect people to do what they said they would do, and you always deliver on your promises in return. Softening into nutrition means eating what I want, when I want, according to the dictates of my body. Youre careful about whom you let into your life. what is wrong with having a strong personality? I could smash out more blogs, have published 5 cook books by now and have umpteen online programs if I squeezed an extra few hours of work into my evenings but I have chosen, instead, to sleep. Being emotionally intense can have its ups and downs, but for most, the positive aspects outweigh the negative. Youre genuine and unafraid of people seeing you as you are. Theres way too much to learn about the world and you only get life once. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. You dont feel a need to conform to someone elses idea of how you should be. You yearn to find the truth in all situations, even if its uncomfortable for you and those around you. Parenting looks different from kid to kid, so adjusting and learning new ways to engage your child is always extremely beneficial. Yes, it may feel overwhelming but try to listen for valuable substance, not their style. Some people just cant lose an argument, and being on the other side of that can be seriously intense. This means that people will be always in your dust. The thing with dramatic people is that they are well dramatic. It means never going to those extremes. Simply put, it is because independent research shows time and again that they are of the highest quality the world over. topic outline of the golden age of comics You cant help but become more gentle, softer and connected with yourself when you connect with mother nature. They might not understand at first and it can be hard to say no to people, but stand firm, set your boundaries, and stick with them before you get caught in an intense situation. 18. Youre open-minded about new ideas and experiences. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Intense people do not need or even desire an easy route to success. A few friends have commented recently Soulla, youve really softened. People who are more in touch with their feelings can naturally come across as too intense because they can tap into their emotions more easily and talk about them freely. Or you may be that person and wish you could be more fun and social. I was deeply unhappythen I discovered this one Buddhist teaching, How a regular guy became his own life coach (and how you can too), What J.K Rowling can teach us about mental toughness, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life, 11 traits people with big hearts all share, 10 things socially intelligent people always do, 10 personality traits of a bad boy all women secretly find irresistible, 10 signs youre a happy person who finds joy in everyday life, Are you an old soul? Theres less fighting, yelling and screaming in my house. 20. You want to share your life with someone who understands you at your deepest core. I mean, really? 12. Your deep and complex mind needs new information to feed itself. So if you take the view that sleep and circadian rhythm- is fundamentally important to our health, then anything that hinders or disturbs that like artificial blue lights at night- is something to be taken very seriously. Applying the Bare-Minimum Monday Philosophy to Relationships, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, The Psychological Risks of Cancer Screening. This might be because they are racing through topics and questions that are hard to keep up with. Growing up, most of us heard adults talk about the right way to communicate and express ourselves. On the other hand, those who are chill arent in the trade of changing this world positively. You resent anyone telling you what you should or shouldnt be interested in. You are willing to tolerate painful realities that others might shy away from. Softening into nutrition means for those of you who have not already done so, finding a connection with the food you are eating: being vitally concerned with the source and processing of it and learning how to properly and lovingly prepare it (rather than exclusively outsourcing this integrally feminine role). Softening my mental chatter with positive thoughts. They simply can't control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven. Its usually not a cause for concern, although you may need to adjust your parenting approach to better align with your childs intensity. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Jelena Dincic 16. If you feel overwhelmed by the conversations you are having, its ok, theres no need to get serious all the time and discuss topics youre uncomfortable with. And you expect those who actually care about you to listen and at least try to understand. These powerful emotions might cause them to feel out of control or entirely overwhelmed. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Just because someone is intense doesnt mean you should avoid them, but its best to know what youre getting into. Its difficult for you to understand why some people have so many Facebook or Instagram friends when they dont really know them. They are keenly aware of their internal world and often have a running mental dialogue with obsessive thought patterns. Whether its the beach, a coastal walk, a bush walk or even a long stroll through a beautiful park, spending time outdoors is like hitting the reset button, because, fundamentally, nature is where we belong. And for some, your intensity can make it hard for them to feel relaxed around you. WebThey found a number of correlations between personality traits (as measured by the Big 5) and musical preference which replicated previous work. You have a built-in radar for the real motives behind someones nice behavior. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Why should I be less intense (to please someone else)? You believe 100% of what youre saying and you say it with feeling. I still throw the occasional wobbly (Greek-Cypriot tempers die hard) but not on the same scale and frequency as in times gone by. But those rules are often hard to follow. 6: Intense persons are jealous with strong personalities, even if they make others uncomfortable. It will fall on deaf ears. Some people just cant stop; they seem to be juggling a million things while you can barely tell Netflix to continue playing.. This can intimate a lot of people who prefer to watch TV and let their mind melt. Do not exercise out of fear of what may happen if you dont do it. 14. Please usethe form on the right to contact me!I will get back to all enquiries as soon as possible.Soulla x. Be less. March 1, 2023, 10:52 am, by These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. These fields play to HSP strengths, including empathy, compassion, and intuitive awareness of others needs. They offer their help to others readily. Youll know it when a good relationship comes along because it wont feel forced and youll feel like you can be yourself. This article was originally published on Oct. 3, 2021, The Adderall Shortage Is Affecting Both Parents And Kids With ADHD In Big Ways, A New Parent Talks About Dog Mom Guilt While Cuddling Her Pup. In this article, youll learn how to soften an intense personality with Seven clever tricks, but first, you need to know the answers to some essential questions, so keep reading! To share a story close to my heart, one of my friends once volunteered to work for her dream company in her dream role as they had no paid role for her, and then when she proved how amazing and indispensible she was, they created a role for her and she worked her way to the very top over 10 years. It won't work Instead, roll with it: 1. Ok, I get that sleep is absolutely fundamentally important to our health so much so that it is relegated to what I call one of the 8 foundations of health. Last Updated February 16, 2023, 2:53 pm. You might be able to handle a conversation like this once in a while, but if this is everyday life for you, youre going to wind up resentful of the attention they are demanding from you but not giving back in return. Softening into nutrition doesnt mean that I eat junk food. You can be carried away by something beautiful to the point of feeling enraptured. While this is a sign of being organized, the intensity of that list and the amount of communication may put people on edge or make them feel uncomfortable. Im talking about when someone gets serious all the time. They make great mates. In place of relationships that no longer serve me, I have sought out and befriended people who add so much love and value to my life. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Although you and others can see the beauty and positive qualities of your emotional intensity, there are times when you may want to dial it back or you may need to due to the situation. To harness that, when dealing with an intense person, dont compete with that or try to tamp it down. It wont work. Instead, roll with it. Understand that the person in front of you may be louder or seem more confident. If you show them respect and make a point to listen, youll often see a softer side. When we minimise the gap between our biology and our environment, we can function properly, perform our best and reach our true potential. Their opinions of you dont matter. Why do I need to be less intense (to please others)? Intensity can be a force for good. You say exactly what you mean and with conviction. Its being in a healthy relationship with food and making food and the preparation of it an immensely enjoyable, pleasurable and nourishing experience, on every level. It means that I eat 2 to 3 solid nutrient-dense meals a day meals according to the dictates of my hunger. Dealing with an intense personality 1: We aim to spark their interest and provide everything they need when they get inspired by anything. Notice how your energy instantly changes when you step outside. 2. If a person has frequent and dramatic mood swings, it can be difficult to deal with. Those who feel like they may have an intense personality will need to learn exercises to harness their intensity. Where theres a will theres a way. Putting aside that they are the largest essential oil company in the world, they are the only essential oil company in the world that own all of the farms where their oils are harvested so they have total control and visibility from seed to seal. And when others make assumptions without knowing the facts, you feel a deep and instant outrage. I have blogged about the importance of embracing a positive frame of mind most recently hereas well as here. Here are a few things you might be wondering: 3. When a favorite character in a novel or movie dies, you grieve as heart-rendingly as you would for a friend. WebMethod 1: 7 Indicators That You Have An Intense Personality and an Explanation of What This Means; Method 2: What Are the Telltale Signs of a Passionate Person? WebToo intense. Ignore their bad manners, just pay attention to the special points in their speech. It means that you can access areas that those with a soft personality do not have. The type and intensity of your exercise really needs to suit your body and where you are at in your life. Most people have heard of co-dependency, which normally refers to a dysfunctional and enmeshed relationship between two people, where one person is overly responsible for the others emotional world, creating a merger between the two psyches. You expect the same of them. A study published in PubMed showed that light at night markedly increases the growth of human breast cancer xenografts in rats. They might not even realize theyre getting too intense and appreciate you being honest with them. But those hard drivers are some of our most productive people. Women who are not afraid to speak their truth, be authentic, inspire others and unashamedly express their divine femininity. And they can not use sense even trying. If electric light at night does explain a portion of the breast cancer burden, then there are practical interventions that can be implemented, including more selective use of light and the adoption of recent advances in lighting technology and application.. Im not proud of the way I have exited certain relationships. If you struggle expressing your own, it could be a good opportunity for you to talk about why you find it hard to share these feelings with other people. 21. Sure, theyve heard that mellow people are easier to be around, but they dont mind being over the top. "You're going to make yourself sick." Most people love small-talk. This isnt necessarily a bad thing; its healthy to be able to access your emotions. Looking back now I cant even relate to the person who I was -that 48kg woman standing 168cm tall. Even a cursory perusal of social media streams and print media clearly show that more and more woman today are embracing, or wanting to embrace, their femininity, and take a gentler, softer approach. Just make sure they arent so caught up in their own emotions that they lose touch with reality. This means that you dont waste time on people who dont get you and you wont 3. But suffice to say that the way we view our body image is intricately related to our relationship with food (point 3 above), which in turn is intricately related to our relationship with ourselves (point 2 above) as flavoured by our inner dialogue (point 4 above) and the company we keep (point 1 above). And as females, if our very nature is to be soft and feminine, we can better connect with that side of us. They could turn their intensity against you. It might come from a place of wanting to make a deeper connection with you or be a sign that they value your advice. Authenticityas you see it manifests as consistency. Moderating how much you see someone gives you time to start missing them again and get excited about the next time youll be together. Simply put, both groups feel things a little differently than their peers. But you are who you are and when someone gets to experience a deep conversation with you, they get much more out of it than useless small-talk. So, now the critical question is: An emotionally intense person feels so passionately and deeply that they cant keep it in or hide it. If youre an intense person, you probably have a small circle of people you trust and who love and accept you as you are. When you really become attune with your body and listen to its cues, you know what it needs. Catch yourself when you say these things and swap all the negative chatter for positive thoughts as I detailed in my blog here. Reach out to organisations that you want to work for. You like to get to know people on a more personal level and you do that by asking questions. Both make the world better than it would be without them. Maybe youre around someone like that, and its just too stressful for you. You dont waste time trying to please people who dont get you. A simple conversation about the weather turns to a deep conversation on global warming, and a chat about a new job turns into a re-evaluation of their entire life. My emotions are more on an even keel with fewer lows. To purchase these oils (which are the purest and the most powerful on earth) and become a wholesale customer with 24% discount refer to this blog here. Softening into nutrition means that as much as I try to avoid gluten (even though I dont have the celiac gene), the occasional consumption of smallish amounts of sourdough bread is not something that I now flinch over at all (and I can tell you that there was a time at the start of my traditional wholefoods journey when for 2 solid years not a single grain ever passed my lips). We should understand them and not comment on them negatively. 15 Best Personality Development Activities for Students, 13 Personality Traits of a Horrible Employee | Learnizia, How Does Personality Influence Leadership Style | Learnizia. Theres only one way to slice this loaf of bread: you are too intense for some people. Yes, it may feel overwhelming but try to listen for valuable substance, not their style. However, being fully aware of any potential setbacks will make the diagnosis much easier to handle. Youre hungry for new experiences that can teach you more about something that matters to you, even if they only help you identify your likes and dislikes. Dont expect others (even those you love) to always understand you. If you feel disconnected with yourself, you are standing on rocky ground. You know theres much more to a person than what appears on the surface. It requires a firm to resolve and get to the finish line when things get rough. If you find yourself feeling drained or frustrated after spending time with a person, it could be that they are just too intense for you. Remember that despite a style that rubs most people the wrong way, their intentions and often results are at least as worthy as are those of laid-back people. I view junk food (which includes all processed and nutrient-devoid foods) as rubbish and not as real food so it wouldnt cross my mind to eat it. Boston ferns (these absorb moisture), Peace Lilies (these siphon off VOCs), Sansevieria aka Mother in Laws Tongue (a potent oxygen producer at night), and Fiddle Leaf Fig trees (which look freakin amazing) are what I have mostly filled my house with. You bond easily with fictional characters. You dont want to focus on petty issues like whos dating who and what so and so are up to. Soft-hearted personalities are emotional which means that anyone who is angry with them or says something mean about them, can hurt them easily. A little goes a very long way. They possess an incredible sense of wonder about the world and feel great compassion and empathy for others. Lachlan Brown by You love to learn and expand your mind. Softening into nutrition means that I certainly dont ever punish myself through starvation, or skimping on meals or gorging myself until I feel sick. 2. Webfox news eric shawn political affiliation; the moment of truth denise and jeff; tesco microwave plate cover; mdta police recruitment As with all things personality-based, it may feel tough to dig deeper and figure out why you act a certain way. It also means youre more of an open book. These types of people thrive on the pressure a busy schedule gives them and need the intensity of a crammed life to keep going. I havent done interval training in years now, and guess what, even though there are parts of me that really miss it, I am gentle enough with myself now to know that at this stage of my life it just aint gonna work with what I have on my plate, and that I can function well without it, and look and feel great if I get in some stretching, fascia release and walking on a regularish basis. For an INTJ to be happy and healthy, they need just as much soft and sensitive self-care at times as emotionally-centered introverts do. With these kinds of people, its best to try to avoid engaging in any kind of debate or argument. 1: We aim to spark their interest and provide everything they need when they get inspired by anything. When you are doing something that you love and feel connected with, you can unleash your love and light on the world and shine bright. Some people are extroverts, while others are painfully shy. Ask them questions, for example, "What do you think is the wisest idea?". I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. Your passion leads you to places that few people dare to go. It is in suppressing and denying feelings that we ultimately lose control, as they are then expressed in far more subtle Have you ever been told youre too intense? In my day to day life I am making a concerted effort to greet all people like long lost friends with an open heart, a huge smile and a meeting of the minds. We might not agree with everyones point of view or life philosophy, but we can respect it and in them find things to admire. We should apply kindness to both others and ourselves. She is a far cry from who I am today but letting go of her meant closing the door on a toxic relationship with a friend who was fuelling this fire (point 1 above). Your deep personality requires some maintenance and that means that you dont like surprises. 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. Nah, youd rather read a book from Confucius or Buddha on what it means to live a life of purpose. If youre looking for positives, it means you know what you want and dont want to waste any time. These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. I need to (insert lame excuse to escape.)" If you have an intense person on the team, you can feel good knowing theyll likely pour themselves into the project on hand. Most intense people know their behavior is unhealthy, stated Marty Nemko Ph.D. They simply cant control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven.. INFPs tend to rely on the following four cognitive functions: 4 Dominant: Introverted Feeling INFPs experience a great depth of feelings but, as introverts, they typically process these emotions internally. Maybe youre just processing something. Every human being experiences fear. People have different personalities, meaning that, for some people, the norm may be more challenging to achieve. We start to feel more connected with ourselves. And when disaster strikes, instead of opting for a doom and gloom woe-is-me victim mentality try to find the life lesson in it and what the universe is trying to teach you as I detailed in one of my previous blogs here. Just as your words are direct and expressive, so is your gaze. A common warning sign is the feeling that your relationship is unbalanced. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. The Art of Softening (and the 10 ways that I have softened), blue light blocking filters on all their screens, I no longer own bathroom scales so I no longer weigh myself (because when you weigh yourself all you are weighing is your self esteem), I have no idea how much I weigh and I really dont care as the number is completely irrelevant to my health and happiness, I can look at myself in the mirror (which happens occasionally) and think how healthy and fit I look for my age having had 2 kids, I do not give a rats arse about thigh gaps or a 6 pack. And loving it. Spending time with someone can become too intense when you arent spending enough time away from them. This one can seem like a no-brainer, but theres merit To answer the first one, intense personalities are rooted in the way your mind works and how you process what youre feeling. In humans, the theory that light exposure at night increases breast cancer risk leads to specific predictions that are being tested epidemiologically: evidence has accumulated on risk in shift workers, risk in blind women, and the impact of sleep duration on risk. Its not always possible to avoid the hard topics in a romantic relationship. Whatever the reason, it is clear that the modern woman of today seeks a more balanced middle ground where she can relish in being a feminine goddess and all that that entails, while simultaneously holding space as a powerful force of nature, creating and embellishing greatness and using her powers discerningly and only for the greater good. Your email address will not be published. As I am extremely cautious with what I put in and on my and my kids body, I always seek out the very best quality- whether its food or personal care products. Or seek out hobbies and interests outside of work that you have a strong connection with so that that aspect of your life is nurtured. Sleep is profoundly powerful. We hope you find this article helpful! Youre all in, and youd alienate the world to have your friends back. I started replacing a few of the light globes around the house with amber light globes, I started wearing amber coloured blue blocking glasses at night, and I invested in a few salt lamps that give off a gorgeous amber glow instead of turning the lounge room downlights on. Changing my inner dialogue from largely negative to largely positive has had a huge impact on making me feel happier, softer, and more feminine. One way to do this is using these seven clever tricks to soften an intense personality. Emotional intensity is not a pathology, states Imi Lo of Psychology Today.
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